I learned an important lesson last month: I don’t keep up with the blogging during the holidays. I need a new plan for how to make that work next year.
But that’s life. As I am always telling my nearly-5-year-old perfectionist, making mistakes means that you are learning.
I have been enjoying the joyful calm that comes after the holidays themselves and before everyone returns to their usual activities. It seems almost sinfully indulgent to have all this extra time– time to play board games and build block cities and try the treats people gave you.
But that’s nearing an end now. On Monday Robert is back to teaching and I have to be a grown-up and make phone calls to sort out student loan payment issues and schedule doctor’s appointments and generally be responsible.
And so I went looking for The Words. I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions, but I do spend some time developing intentions and collecting inspiration for the new year, so when I read this article this afternoon, it resonated with me.
I have this long list of things that I want to learn, to do, to be, to try, to become. Things I want to know, to create, to make, to build. But where was I just a year ago, just two years ago, just five years into my past? How far have I come? How much have I learned, grown, and become? Not all changes need to happen now.
Tomorrow is the start of the new term at CGCC, and Robert’s first day teaching. It’s going to be a difficult week for us, as all weeks of new routine and responsibilities are for everyone, I think. I will admit that I was feeling a bit aggravated about the changes as I got up this morning.
So I did what I usually do when I’m starting to indulge my persecution complex– I sought inspiration from sources that remind me how lucky I am to have such a wonderful family. When I feel myself losing my way, I look for The Words I need to move forward on the path I’m trying to walk. I tried the usual sources– I read some blog posts from the fellow mothers I consider my internet friends– but Rachel is still posting about finding your tribe, which leaves me wishing I had one, and Amanda is on her usual weekend retreat, and Beth is writing about laughter and mayhem while I need to hear about connection, and Glennon is writing about balance.
I turned to the humor blogs I follow, because sometimes laughter helps, too, and found that this week The Bloggess linked to a farewell post a woman had arranged to have published after her death. And there, I found The Words.
I have so much life I still want to live, but know I won’t have that. I want to be there for my friends as they move with their lives, see my children grow up and become old and grumpy with Rich. All these things are to be denied of me.
But, they are not to be denied of you. So, in my absence, please, please, enjoy life. Take it by both hands, grab it, shake it and believe in every second of it. Adore your children. You have literally no idea how blessed you are to shout at them in the morning to hurry up and clean their teeth.
Thank you, Charlotte. I will take your advice this week.